10 And here is my judgment about what is best for you in this matter. Last year you were the first not only to give but also to have the desire to do so. 11 Now finish the work, so that your eager willingness to do it may be matched by your completion of it, according to your means. 12 For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what one does not have.
2 Corinthians 8:10-12
God has seemed distant to me for a very long time. However, I know it is me who has created the distance. I have been distracted, and for some reason unknown to me, I just can not focus.
This morning I awoke feeling 'overwhelmed', in fact, I did not sleep much last night because my mind was reeling. I feel more tired this morning than I did when I went to bed last night. I was disturbed.
This was the Canada Day Weekend, and July 1, Friday was the holiday. I spent the day with my son Adam, his wife Ashley, and my oldest son Niels, who lives in California, and who is getting married in October, here in Canada, to a Canadian girl.
We went for lunch, then sat on my son's deck and chatted. They decided to go out dancing for the evening, so I opted out and went home around 6 p.m. When I got home, Tammy, my new landlord, was sitting on her deck alone, so we ended up chatting until her boyfriend got home. They went to watch the fireworks, but I opted out of that and fell asleep on the couch watching TV. I was perfectly happy.
On Saturday, I planned on cleaning house, spending time with God, studying, taking Molly for a long walk, and doing some yoga. Instead, I ended up sitting on the deck with my landlord Tammy and her mom Shirley, drinking coolers, and when it got dark, we lit a fire and sat around laughing, it was a light-hearted day. We were up past two in the a.m.
I did get up to go to church. They did a play, and we all participated in a 'Jewish Wedding'. The children danced around and had a joyful time, until the wine ran out (not really-in the play). Then Jesus turned water into wine, and the festivities continued. I really enjoyed it.
Afterwards I went to a garage sale, and this man gave me a bunch of 'free stuff', which I thought I could use my creative abilities to restore. Let's see how that goes.
Again, I had planned on doing the things, I am supposed to do, but again ended up, helping Tammy plant flowers, and paint the fence. However, later in the day when her boyfriend came home, they ended up in a big fight. He was very verbally abusive and I was very disturbed over it, and ended up worrying about her safety, and mine for that matter, since he threatened to burn down the house with us in it.
How do I get myself in these messes!!!
I can't get involved in this, I must focus on what I must do.
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