Becoming Best Friends with God - Day 11

Well, my travelling buddy didn't last long. She kept picking arguements with me, in fact, she was becoming very difficult to get along with. I suspect she does not want to be accountable, and wants to go back to her old life. She thinks I am an angry person, and she said she can not associate with an angry woman, as per the bible.

I may be angry, but prior to her getting in my car on Sunday morning and wanting to argue, I was feeling rather happy. Anyway she broke off the friendship. It is ok, we have been friends for a long time, and it has happened several times before. I should know better.

Anyway, yesterday's chapter was on Surrender. It is the heart of worship. Surrender is not easy, at least, not for me. I am not sure I even know what it means. It usually makes me feel sad and depressed, however, the truth is I can feel that way on my own. My life, living the way I am living, just is not working. When I think of surrendering, I think of throwing up my hands and giving up.

I feel that way this morning...like giving up. Yes, I give up. I surrender...

I could just stay home and pull my covers over my head and forget the day, that's how I feel, but unfortunately, I have to pay my rent. I am not excited about being homeless.

Well, the job I was planning on doing just cancelled, so, I can stay home and pull my covers over my head. Great! I think it may be time to look for a new job. I am hardly making enough to pay the rent anyway. I fear homelessness is just a pay check away. I suppose I need to surrender that too.

I am rambling, I know. But I am doing the "write thing", I think.

Recently, I had some blood work done, etc. and yesterday the Dr. gave me a "clean bill of health" for which I am thankful. He did say however that my kidney's were not working 100%, but thought it was not something to be concerned with.

I am thankful for that too, but think I should start drinking more water. I have not been doing that lately. He said to cut down on the salt too. I surrender my salt.

So, I suppose since I now have 'no friends or followers', it is ideal that today's chapter is "Becoming Best Friends with God".

Hi God,
I hear you want to be my friend. I suppose if I talk to you outloud in public, people are going to think I have 'fallen off the deep end', however, I do need a friend. Not sure how this will work exactly, but ok.